


Love Brought Weight

by seekrest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Peter Parker, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, I put the boys through it in this one, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mild Language, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, we must EARN our happy ending kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 00:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: “Peter, listen—““You know what, it’s fine. Whatever. I’ll come by the cabin this weekend to fix the suit. See you later, Mr. Stark.”Peter sounded pissed, ending the call before Tony could say anything in return. He thinks to call him back, try to figure out what the hell was going on - why the kid was so livid about Tony calling him.But Tony doesn’t, telling himself he’d sort it out with Peter when he saw him again.This was his first mistake.





	Love Brought Weight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blondsak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondsak/gifts).

> To the best fandom bff, a queen, an icon, a legend - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLONDSAK! What better way to celebrate than to put both Tony & Peter through the worst hell over and over again ;) 
> 
> <3 <3 <3

“Kid, you coming or what?””

Peter sighed, Tony glancing behind him.

“Am I bothering you?”

Peter laughed, shaking his head as he looked to his phone, quickly tapping out something as Tony watched. 

“No, just letting MJ know I’m gonna be late getting back to the city.”

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, kid. We’ll see each other next weekend—“

“It’s fine.” Peter put his phone in his back pocket, offering Tony up a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Tony frowned, getting the distinct impression that things were not  _ fine  _ even as Peter walked past him and towards the lake. 

Tony enjoyed his weekend outings with Peter and up until a few months ago, it seemed as if Peter had enjoyed them too. He knew it wasn’t just that Peter wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, Tony having teased him enough about it to make the kid roll his eyes - but there was something else, something neither of them had outright acknowledged - even if they both knew what it was. 

“Only if you’re sure, kid.”

Peter just nods, smiling again as if to try and convince Tony as much as he was trying to convince himself. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. You need any help with this?” He goes for the plate of food in his hands, Tony protesting before Peter grabs it anyway - rushing past him. 

“Gotta be careful with that arm, old man.” Peter jokes, walking ahead of him to meet Pepper and Morgan at the grill. 

Even if it’s said in humor, there’s an undercurrent of something else in the kid’s tone - a double meaning that only Tony could recognize. 

_ Let me handle this.  _

* * *

Tony knew that his official “retirement” as Iron Man was a long time coming, the only reason he donned the suit again was to bring the kid - and by default, everyone else - back. After snapping his fingers, losing an arm and nearly his life in the process - fading into relative and comfortable obscurity was something Tony looked forward to.

What he didn’t anticipate or plan or really even consider was what his retirement would practically mean, now that the kid and the team were all back safe and sound.

He knew the kid originally had a trip to Europe planned only for it to be cancelled under circumstances Tony had neither the time nor the inclination to understand - especially since it meant Peter would have more time together with him at the cabin. And now with the summer gone and the cool rush of autumn full into effect, Tony was thankful that for each passing season that he had the chance to see them - and to see them again with the kid. 

Peter’s seventeenth birthday would’ve always been filled with celebration but it was done with even more celebration - celebrating not just the passage of time but the novelty that Peter finally had birthdays again, was aging and moving on. 

When Peter started school again, Tony had teased him relentlessly about the scary girl Peter seemingly had a crush on until he finally asked her out, Tony wondering aloud when he’d get to meet her. Peter had only laughed, brushed him off - but Tony didn’t care. 

The kid was growing up on him - a chance he didn’t think he’d ever get to have. And a few months after his renewed lease on life, Tony felt as if the world around him couldn’t have been more perfect. 

Pepper was by his side, his children happy and whole - and Steve, having returned the stones and arrived back without so much as a bump in the road - had returned back into his life as if the previous eight had hadn’t mattered at all. 

They did, they would always matter - but there were much bigger things to focus on, now that the world was made right again. 

It was all reconciliations, families meeting together - joining and creating a world not just like the one before, but better. It was the happy and content world that he always wished for, the one he hoped would happen in a since long deleted farewell message, one Tony was glad beyond all reason that would never see the light of day. 

But there was a lingering sense of dread that Tony felt in the back of his mind, a feeling that he couldn’t quite place that things wouldn’t - couldn't - stay so blissfully perfect forever.

It wasn’t until the first team up that Tony wasn’t apart of came that he realized what it was.

* * *

“Tony, what are you doing?”

Tony fumbled with the StarkPad, hiding it as Morgan did when she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. 

Pepper just looked at him with an amused expression on her face, nodding her head towards the device in his hand.

“Are you seriously spying on Peter right now?”

“I’m not  _ spying _ ,” Tony said with mock disdain, “I’m keeping tabs. Overseeing, you know, making sure the kid minds his p’s and q’s.”

Pepper gives him a look he knows well, one equal parts exasperation and amusement. “Isn’t he out there with plenty of people who are not only fully capable of watching over him but would also be willing to take a bullet for him?”

Tony says nothing in return, mulling it over until Pepper sighs, shaking her head.

“Go ahead, Morgan’s watching a movie and I was gonna make a few calls. But,” she points to him, her face firm, “Don’t distract him, Tony. You agreed that you’d let him handle things.”

Tony nods, a little too quickly as he flips the StarkPad back so he can face the screen, his attention drawn back to the feed in front of him. “I won’t, I won’t.”

He hears Pepper’s footsteps fade away but Tony’s attention is back towards Peter - or more specifically, the Baby Monitor live feed he’s watching.

Tony  _ had  _ gotten better at letting the kid handle himself, long before the Blip. But ever since he’d returned, Tony was stricken with an insatiable need to be there for Peter - to see him, to know without any doubt that he was okay. 

It reminded him of those first few months after Morgan was born, awake when she cried and staying awake long after she’d fallen asleep - paralyzed with the fear that she’d somehow drift away if he left her alone for too long.

Tony knew it was an irrational fear and by the time Morgan was six months old, it slowly started to fade. But Peter returning - the same age as he’d been when he’d died, now working in tandem with the heroes and with a team he’d wanted so long to be a part of - Tony felt that same irrational fear over and over again. 

The kid was fine, he was alive - Tony knew he didn’t have anything to worry about. 

But he did anyway. 

“You seeing this shit, Wilson?” Tony hears Peter’s voice through the monitor, his stomach lurching at the sudden drops and turns from Peter’s haphazard swinging. He knew from seeing it in person that Peter was graceful, almost fluid with his motions - but the bird’s eye view Tony had now did nothing for his anxiety.

“Watch your mouth, Parker. I hear Cap’s got a problem with bad language.” 

Tony smirks as the kid laughs, hearing Steve groan on the other end of the line.

“Did Tony tell  _ everyone  _ about that?”

“Any and everyone who would listen.” Wilson snaps back, Tony watching in earnest as Peter lands on a roof - thankful that he’d stopped moving.

“I gotta say, I thought you were from Brooklyn, Cap. Which speaking of, who actually  _ is _ Captain America now? Like you both got shields for some reason, though no one ever told me how the hell  _ that  _ happened but then you’re still in the Falcon suit so are you like, Captain Falcon? Cap 2.0? What should I call you two?”

“Shut up, Parker.” Sam and Steve say at the same time, Peter snickering as Tony smiles. 

He’s almost content to turn off the feed when he sees something out of the corner of his eye, a half-second after Peter does - freezing.

Tony turns on the audio to the feed without thinking.

“Kid, watch out!”

He sees the eyes blink, head tilting as he turns to face what was coming.

“Mr. Stark? What—“

And then the feed goes black. 

* * *

Tony panics, the terror crawling down his spine inch by inch as if each moment that he blinks, the world around him was going to crumble into darkness. He fights against it, fights the panic - his sole focus on Peter and black screen in front of him. 

His phone is in his hand, fingers trembling as he starts to dial - begging, almost praying that the kid had stopped it - that Peter was okay.

The phone rings once before Tony hears the sound of a battle in the background, an out of breath voice on the other end.

“Tony?”

“Steve, where the hell is he?”

“He—“ a grunt, “Who?”

“Peter dammit, where the fuck is he?”

The silence on the other end of the line is deafening, even as the sound of the fight rages on. 

“Anyone got eyes on the kid?”

Tony hears nothing, even knowing that he wouldn’t - the call only linked to Steve’s line. He spends the seconds in terror, his mind racing at the possibilities.

Peter bleeding out on the rooftop, Peter crying for help, Peter gasping, out of breath, hoping for someone to save him, Peter—

“Tony.”

The way Steve says his name tells him it isn’t the first time he’s said it, Tony’s hand gripping the couch.

“Is he—“

“He’s fine, helping civilians. What happened Tony? What’s wrong?”

Tony blinks, shaking his head. He glances back down to the StarkPad, seeing the empty feed. He knows what he saw, he knows he saw Peter—

“Put him on the phone.”

“I’m—I’m a little busy, Tony.”

“Just do it.” Tony hisses, his sense of stability wavering as he listens to Steve fighting on the other end. 

He waits, though he doesn’t know how long, until a familiar voice comes through the other line.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony sighs in relief. “Peter, what the hell—“

“I’ll call you back.” Tony blinks in surprise, Peter’s voice filled with an anger and frustration Tony doesn’t recognize. 

“Kid—“

But the other line goes dead, leaving Tony speechless and dumbfounded.

* * *

He hears from Peter later - hours and hours after he’d tried calling, getting sent to voicemail over and over again until Tony’s last shred of patience was spent. 

By the time Peter calls, Tony’s livid.

“What the fuck is going on?” He seethes, hands shaking as he hears the exasperated sigh on the other end.

“I’m fine, Mr. Stark.”

“You’re not—kid, I saw something hit you. The feed went black and I didn’t—“

“Why were you watching? You’re supposed to be retired, Mr. Stark. Out of commission, relaxing.”

Tony sputters, shaking his head as he switched the phone from one ear to the other.

“Are you serious? You think retirement’s gonna stop me from looking out for you?”

“There’s looking out and then there’s hovering. I was handling it, Mr. Stark.”

“The fuck you—“

“If you hadn’t called, I could’ve dodged it. You distracted me.” Tony waits, Peter’s voice wavering in the other end - from anger, not remorse. “If I hadn’t dodged it, I could’ve died.”

Tony’s closes his eyes. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to prevent, kid.”

“I can take care of myself.”

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling. “Kid, I’m not saying you can’t, I’m saying—“

“You don’t trust me.” 

Tony wants to scream, willing for the kid to shut up for one damn minute and listen to him.

“Peter, listen—“

“You know what, it’s fine. Whatever. I’ll have to come by the cabin this weekend anyway to fix the suit. One of the lenses got cracked and I don’t want to mess it up with the shit I have here. See you later, Mr. Stark.”

Peter sounded pissed, ending the call before Tony could say anything in return. He thinks to call him back, try to figure out what the hell was going on - why the kid was so livid about Tony calling him. 

But Tony doesn’t, telling himself he’d sorted out with Peter when he saw him again.

This was his first mistake.

* * *

It hadn’t been the first time he’d “dropped in” on Peter. After the kid’s homecoming, dragging Tony’s plane down and nearly dying in the process - Tony had made a concerted effort in watching out over the kid, ensuring that after he’d turned down the Avengers gig that his problems focused on low-level threats like muggings and cats in trees.

But then Peter had hitched a ride to space, crumbled to dust into his arms and then after five miserable years, Tony finally had him back.

But it was different this time, in a way Tony couldn’t quite comprehend. Before the Blip, Peter had been eager - almost excited when Tony would listen in on his patrols, chattering to him like he did his AI.

Now Peter seemed… annoyed. Bothered, as if Tony listening on him meant something else than just an extra layer of protection. 

Tony didn’t understand what changed, why the kid suddenly seemed almost bothered that Tony cared. Watching Peter as he gave the hotdogs to Pepper, seeing the tension in his shoulders even from here - Tony couldn’t make sense of it.

Later, after the food was long gone and Peter was entertaining Morgan, Tony just watched - so lost in thought that he didn’t hear Pepper come up beside him.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“Hm?” Tony turns, seeing her eyebrows furrow in concern as she searched his face.

“I, I don’t know, Pep. Somethings… something’s not right with the kid.”

Pepper let’s out a small laugh, bringing her arm around his waist. “You sure it’s Peter? Or you?”

Tony makes a face. “What do you mean?”

“He’s worried about you, Tony. You can see it all over his face. Trust me, I know what it looks like to be concerned after your well-being.”

Tony blinks a few times, his gaze going from Pepper back to Peter - trying to see what he’s missed. He sees nothing, Peter’s animated expression as he tells some nonsense story to Morgan the only thing he can focus on - a spark of joy that for all the despair he’d felt that Morgan would never get to know Peter - that now they seemed to have hit it off just as he’d always hoped. 

“Pep, I—“

“He almost lost you, Tony. All of us did.” Pepper pauses, leaning on him. “He just wants you to be safe. To relax. You know watching him like you do does nothing good for your blood pressure.”

“You think I don’t want that for him? Want him to be okay? How can I  _ relax _ when he’s out there…” Tony trails off as he stares at Peter and Morgan. 

“I love him, Pep. I just want him to be safe.” Tony looks back to her, pleading even as she extends a hand to his face.

“I know that.  _ You  _ know that. But does he?”

“Of course he does. Of course.”

“Then talk to him, Tony. He’s a smart kid, he’ll understand.”

Pepper gives a soft kiss to his cheek before turning back to the house, leaving Tony to his thoughts.

He knows that Pepper - of anyone on the planet - understood the deep well of grief that Peter dying in his arms had left him with, one of the few who knew that Tony bending time itself to save the universe had little to do with the billions gone but rather the hope of saving one. 

Tony knows that she’s right, that he should talk to Peter - listen to him, try and understand where the kid’s coming from even if it pains Tony to even consider letting him out of his reach any longer. 

Morgan lets out a peal of laughter, Tony smiling at seeing them the two interact. Peter was seventeen - the five years that should’ve made him twenty-one freezing him until he returned. 

Tony’s struck with the memory of those five lost birthdays, miserable and gut-wrenching days spent locked away in his garage, holding on to anything that reminded him of the kid he’d lost - the kid he’d failed to save.

The kid he’d loved as a child before he’d ever known what it meant to be a father. 

Even as the wisdom of Pepper’s words still ring in his ears, the memories of those lost birthdays combined with the image of Peter and Morgan together - his children, safe, happy and whole in front of him - drowns out anything else.

Tony knew he couldn’t stop Peter from being Spider-Man, the kid had proven that to him time and time again. But Tony couldn’t bring himself to let him go, to even think of being okay with him going out and facing unknown and untold dangers without Tony being there on the other line - watching and hoping that Peter was okay every step of the way.

He knows he should tell that to Peter, express in some way what he wants to say - that Peter dying wasn’t an option, that if he did - Tony knew he wouldn’t survive it again.

But he doesn’t, the innocence of the image in front of him blocking out anything else.

Tony should talk to Peter. Tony should listen to what Peter has to say. 

But he doesn’t. 

This was his second mistake.

* * *

It reaches its breaking point a month later.

It started originally with an argument about something completely benign, Tony encouraging Peter to submit one of his lab inventions to an academic competition. 

Peter hadn’t wanted to, saying that even if he won - he wouldn’t be able to go. He blamed Spider-Man, MJ, sticking around the city - anything to try and get Tony off his back. 

Tony had been insistent, arguing about the benefits and of all the different ways it could open up doors for him - to the future and beyond.

It was a small argument, something they bickered about back and forth - only reaching the last straw when Peter realized that Tony had gone behind his back anyway, not just submitting the invention without his permission, telling him that he’d won.

It was a mistake, Tony had known it when he’d done it. But he reasoned with himself that it was for a purpose, that it’s just what Peter needed to start thinking about the future - a future, any future, where he wasn’t just Spider-Man.

He should’ve talked to Peter about it, tried and explain his reasoning. Tony should’ve listened to Peter, understand more about why he hadn’t wanted to leave. 

But he didn’t. 

This was his third mistake. 

* * *

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Watch yourself, Parker.”

Peter rolled his eyes, turning away has he walked out of the garage - Tony not far after him.

“Kid, don't walk away from me.”

“Oh sorry,” Peter says sarcastically, “Is that not allowed? Can I not even go the fucking bathroom without your permission?”

“What’s your deal, kid? You sniffing paint or something? This is a great opportunity for you, a real chance for you to—“

“To what? To  _ what _ , Mr. Stark? I told you that I didn’t want to go. I  _ told  _ you to let me make my own decisions, about the future, about anything having to do with my life and you can’t even…” Peter lets out a huff, shaking his head.

“Fine. Whatever, doesn’t matter.”

“No, I’m sick of this shit. If you got something to say to me Peter than say it.”

Tony tenses, waiting as he watched Peter wrestle with himself. He knows Peter’s made a decision when his shoulders straightened, looking back to Tony with barely-contained fury.

“Why don’t you just let me live my life?”

“Because you’re clearly incapable of living that life without trying to end it. That shit with the Shocker guy last week? You should’ve let Sam handle it.”

“I  _ was _ handling it. I told you, Shocker and I had some personal shit to work through.”

“Personal— what the hell are you even— you know what? No, we’re not talking about this.”

Peter throws his hands up. “And there it is, you’re done with the conversation so that’s final?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly how it works.” Tony takes a step forward, seeing how Peter seems to braces himself.

“You’re a kid playing an adult game, Pete and this isn’t the time to try and act like a man or whatever bullshit you got running through your head.”

“I’m  _ not  _ a kid, Mr. Stark. I’m seventeen, I  _ should _ be twenty-one. I’ve fucking been to space.”

“Yeah and that’s exactly where I didn’t want you to be.” Tony said through gritted teeth, staving down the panic of that moment as the memory of it threatened to rush back to him. 

Tony had gone over those moments - the fight in the park, the donut ship, the fight on an alien planet - over and over again in his mind until he could recite it from memory. Peter had been foolish, naive and brave in a way that only a child could be.

Peter was a whole year older than he was then, no matter the five years lost - and yet Tony’s struck with the unexplainable need to shake Peter, to make him understand.

Peter needed a future, a life beyond Spider-Man. And even if the kid had clearly been building one - with May, his friends and girlfriend - it seemed as if everything Tony did to try and protect him now just set him off further - damned and determined to keep Tony away from anything he did as Spider-Man. 

“But I did,” Peter says, bringing Tony out of his thoughts, “I did and I survived so I think I can handle some low-level earth bullshit before you keep trying to ship me off to some academic competition that’s not gonna matter when the next big threat comes. Where did you even find this competition? Ned looked it up and--”

“First off, you  _ didn't  _ survive the trip unless you forgot your little dusting act already.” Peter winces as Tony takes a few steps forward, setting his jaw firm the closer he gets to him. 

“Second, who’s to say you can’t handle some low-level earth  _ bullshit  _ as you call it after you do the competition? Pepper mentioned it to me, heard about it through the company grapevine. That’s not the point, Peter. This would be a great chance for you, kid. Keep you out of harm’s way for five damn minutes.”

There’s a flash of… something behind Peter’s eyes, a tortured expression on his face that’s there for a moment before it’s gone - transforming into fury, Peter’s eyes narrowing as he takes a step forward. 

“Stop trying to run my life.”

“I’ll stop  _ trying _ when you stop trying to end it.” Tony’s voice raises, Peter’s matching it. 

“I’m not  _ trying  _ to end it, I’m trying to save people.”

“Peter, you need to have some balance in your life.” Tony hears the laugh come out of Peter’s mouth, though he can tell there’s no humor in it.

“Balance?  _ I _ need balance? You’re the one who’s supposed to be fucking retired and yet can’t stop watching any fight that comes up.”

“Because I’m watching YOU!” Tony yells, feeling the break in his attempt to be calm. “As long as you insist on putting yourself in situations like—“

“Like you? Saving the world, helping out? Face it, Mr. Stark, you lost an arm and you still can’t let yourself relax.”

_ You can rest now.  _ Pepper’s words on the battlefield come back to him, shaking his head in fury. Those were words spoken to a dying man, a balm meant to ease and soothe him into the next life.

But Tony is alive - radiating with anger - at the stubbornness of the kid in front of him.

“When it comes to you kid, I’ll relax when I’m dead.”

It’s the exact wrong words to say, Tony seeing some crack in Peter’s exterior for a second before his eyes turn back to rage and fury. 

“You’re selfish and you can’t even see it. ”Peter spits back.

“ _ I’m _ selfish?” Tony yells, seeing Peter’s hands shake. “What the hell do you call your little stunts? Putting yourself at risk like you have no one watching out for you at home? You think I forgot why you started all of this? What made you put on the mask in the first place?”

The words are out before Tony can stop them, the guilt and regret immediately rushing to him. 

It’s a low blow, the most basic of Tony’s rules to never acknowledge the kid’s reason for becoming Spider-Man - knowing all too well how deep and personal guilt Peter had about not saving his uncle and how much it weighed on him.

Tony is angry, hurt and irrational - even with all of these emotions flowing through, he knows he’s crossed a line.

He hears Peter let out a sharp gasp, as if he’s been stabbed before backing up - shaking his head - the clear and undeniable betrayal in his eyes that Tony would ever stoop so low. 

“Fuck you.”

“Pete, kid I’m sorry, I—“

“Fuck. You.”

The venom is undeniable in Peter’s voice, taking a step towards him and looking so visibly angry that it makes Tony take a step back. Seeing Peter like this reminds Tony that for all his joking with the team, all their banter back and forth about who was the strongest Avenger - Peter could catch a bus without breaking a sweat, had lifted a building off of himself and then dragged down a plane out of the sky.

He’s never thought much of it, but Tony was reminded in the moment of how much they all relied on Peter’s innate goodness — how dangerous Peter could really be.

Peter seems to snap into focus, realizing the same thing as he sharply turns away from him - hands shaking before they still.

Tony can see his back straighten, a calm in his voice that sounds as if the slightest push would cause him break.

“I never want to see you again.”

“Kid—“

Peter looks back - anger, hurt, fury and betrayal swimming behind his eyes. 

“Fuck you.” Peter turns, Tony watching as he blinks back tears and walks out of the garage.

Tony knows he should run after him, should apologize - make this right. He was angry, Peter was angry - running around each other in circles when Tony knew deep down they were just worried about the same thing - the other’s safety. 

Tony loved Peter, loved him more than he could even physically express - loved him like the son he was all but in name. 

It was an argument that could’ve been avoided, an argument that Tony knows he could solve - or at least try to.

But he doesn’t, thinking of the hurt in the kid’s eyes - the deep betrayal in them that shames Tony that even in his own anger, that he’d ever question the kid’s reason for wanting to do good in the world. 

Tony doesn’t walk out after him. Tony doesn’t call him later that day.

This was his final mistake.

* * *

It’s three weeks before he hears from Peter again, though not for lack of trying. 

Tony didn’t reach out the first day or the second but after three days of radio silence, Tony reached his limit - and Pepper argued that he’d let this sit for too long. 

“This isn’t right, Tony. Make this right with him.” She’d said, seeing how Tony moved the phone back and forth in his hands. 

Tony tried and Peter didn’t answer. 

He tried again and again in the following days, only to get a quick text from May saying he was fine. Tony resorted to looking through the Baby Monitor feed only to see that Peter had rigged it so that Tony couldn’t hack into it - something that Tony would almost be proud of if he wasn’t so ridden with guilt. 

The day the competition comes up, Tony almost wonders if Peter was going to flake out on him - only to hear from Happy that he was driving him to the private airstrip.

“Kid’s too good to fly commercial?” Tony tries to joke, hearing the sigh on the other end. 

“Boss.”

“I know, I know. Bad joke.” Tony sighs, running a hand over his face. “You think if you pass the phone to him that he’ll--”

Tony hears some shuffling around on the other end, Happy saying something he can’t hear before his voice comes through again on the other line. 

“Sorry boss, he doesn’t want to talk to you. Said he’s only going cause he didn’t want to disappoint Pepper.” 

Tony’s confused for a moment before remembering Peter’s super-hearing, taking for granted again the powers Peter has. 

Tony knows that they’ve only scratched the surface of what Peter is capable of, fully coming to grip with the idea that Peter  _ was _ able to handle himself - and the shame running through him at how much the kid must think that Tony doubted him. 

He’d fucked up, Tony knew it - and a part of him wondered if there would ever be a time when he wouldn’t, if he was seemingly destined to repeat the same mistakes that his own father had made. 

“Yeah, that’s--that’s fine, Happy. Just make sure he’s set for the ride alright?” 

Happy hums in acknowledgement, Tony ending the call.

It’s the last few moments of peace Tony remembers having before it all goes to shit.

* * *

An hour later, settling in to the couch with a cup of tea already cooling too quickly, his phone rings - lazily grabbing it without checking who was calling.

“Dominos, what can I get you?”

“Tony.”

Tony stills at Steve’s voice, tensing immediately as he sits up from the couch, Pepper looking to him in confusion.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s a video that’s just been sent to Fury. A live feed, from what it looks like. You need, you need to see it. He’s sending it to you now.”

The chime to his StarkPad comes immediately, cradling the phone to his ear as he opens the message.

What he saw made him feel as if the wind had been taken out of him.

Because there in front of him is Peter, bound and gagged - beaten would fiercely that Tony can actually see the blood pooling underneath him, scarring that Tony knows would be impossible on Peter’s skin unless it was fresh.

It’s impossible, Peter’s on a plane - halfway to Maine for a competition, or he should be. 

Tony jumps off the couch, Pepper immediately rushing to him.

“Tony?” She asks, Tony focusing on Steve on the other line. 

“Steve, what the hell is this?”

“We’re not sure, we think it’s some kind of trick, some kind of—“

“What do you mean a trick?” Tony turns to Pepper. “Can you get me a flight plan for Peter’s plane, see where it is or where it’s supposed to be, right now?” 

She looks confused for a second but must see the panic in Tony’s eyes, nodding before getting up. 

Tony sends the call to FRIDAY overhead, bringing the video to the television in front of him. Peter coughs - or tries to, Tony feeling short of breath as the blood from where he’s been cut starts to pool underneath him.

It doesn’t make sense, Peter’s supposed to be on a plane. Safe. Okay. 

“Steve, talk to me here.”

“Hold on Tony, we’re getting another video.”

Tony sees what Steve does, Pepper pausing before she leaves the room - her eyes just as transfixed to the screen in front of them. 

A man that Tony vaguely recognizes is in front of the screen, a smile that looks practiced - dangerous.

“To the great and powerful Tony Stark, welcome to the show.”

“Steve?”

“It’s a one-way feed Tony, Fury’s trying to track it now. He can’t hear us but we can hear him.”

“You are probably trying to find us but don’t worry, we don’t plan on running. We’re in upstate New York, take the turnpike and go down about forty miles till you see the Willowshed exit. It’s a warehouse that looks abandoned, but I promise you it isn’t. We’ll be waiting.”

Tony doesn’t have to hear Steve to know he and everyone else on the other end of the line are searching for it, scanning satellites and whatever else was available to them. The man in front of him continues, even as Tony’s eyes keep dancing to the other side of the screen - to the feed of where Peter looked almost unconscious. 

“Stark, you are a man who knows a good bargain. And yet you failed to recognize the genius that you had before you.” The man puts his hand up, as if to forgive him.

“But that doesn’t matter now. You will never be able to rest after this, knowing we’ve done.” He smiles once more, continuing. 

“Knowing what I’ve taken from you.” 

Tony stills, immediately going for Pepper’s hand who takes it instantly. 

“Morgan--”

“In her room.” Pepper affirms, squeezing his hand. 

“Tony.” He hears Steve overhead, Tony’s eyes dancing from Peter to the twisted smile of the man in front of him. 

“Steve, who the hell is this guy?” Tony feels the pressure from Pepper’s hand, but his focus is elsewhere - searching his memory for who he could be. 

His mind brings it the forefront a half-second before Steve speaks.

“Fury says he’s some guy named Quentin Beck. Used to work for Stark Industries?”   


“Beck? What’s he want?” 

“We’re not sure though it’s clear he has some kind of vendetta against you.”

“He has Peter.” Tony says, gripping Pepper’s hands tighter. “Whatever he wants, give it to him.” 

“We’re actually, we’re not so sure about that.”

“What?” It’s then as if Pepper remembers Tony’s original request, loosening her grip on her hand as she rushes to the office and back, Tony watching as Beck continues to talk.

“You see, we thought long and hard about what we could do. How best to destroy you.” 

Tony glances to Pepper, her eyebrows furrowed as she tapped the StarkPad in front of her, searching for Peter’s plane. She glanced up to Beck, blinking a few times. 

“Pep?” He asks, Pepper nodding. 

“I’m looking, Tony. He just... he looks familiar.”

Tony nods. “Quentin Beck. Helped with the BARF tech.”

Pepper freezes beside him, Tony looking at her in confusion.

“Oh God.” 

“What?” 

She turns to Tony, pleading in her eyes - as if she was asking for forgiveness.

“Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t--I didn’t even think, oh God.” 

“What?” A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach threatens to swallow him whole, Pepper’s eyes widening as Steve talks on the other line.

“Fury says the guy’s an illusionist. We should be careful about we’re seeing right now.”

The feed cuts them back to Peter, screaming out in pain as someone drags a knife along his side. Tony’s hands shake, Pepper beside him shaking her head as she speaks. 

“Tony, I… I don’t know if it’s related but--”

“Pep?”

“The competition.”

The words don’t register with Tony, shaking his head. 

“The notice for it, it came from Beck Enterprises. It passed around through the departments till it got to me, I didn’t even realize, I didn’t think to--”

Tony feels like something’s pressed against his chest, heart constricting as things started to fall into place - the silence cutting through as Peter begins to scream, Tony watching in horror as someone begins to slice against his side again. 

Beck begins to speak, Tony’s hands shaking with anger. 

“I know I can’t touch Stark’s family or his company or anything else that he wouldn’t have had without my brilliance, without  _ our _ ideas helping push him into the man he is today.” 

Tony waits, his breath hitching at Beck’s next words.

“But if I can’t destroy the man, then I’ll destroy his legacy.”

“Tony—“ Steve interjects.

“Steve, where the hell is the warehouse? Give me the coordinates, I’ll go there myself.”

“Nat and Clint are already on their way but Tony you gotta listen to me, Fury says—“

“I don’t give a fuck what Fury says.” Tony yells, his whole body shaking as he hears Peter’s cries.

“Tony! Tony help!”

“Oh God, Tony I’m sorry—“ Pepper interjects.

“It’s not your fault, Pepper. It’s not, it’s mine, maybe he…” Tony trails off, fingers fumbling over the phone as he calls Happy’s number, knowing FRIDAY could handle multiple calls. 

The phone rings and rings, Tony cursing at it until the other end of the line finally picks up. 

“Hey boss--”

“Where’s Peter?” 

“Uh, he’s--he’s on the plane. Should be at least, I’m on my way back to the city.”

The sinking feeling in Tony’s stomach feels like it’s going to swallow him whole, doubling over as Pepper tries to brace him. He looks back to the screen, just to hear Peter’s cries once again.

“Get the fuck back there. Bring it down. Call whoever you need to call.”

“What? Boss, I thought--”

“Do it, Hogan.” Tony hangs up before turning his attention back to the screen.

“Steve.”

“Tony, I—“

“Tell me more about the illusion. It’s fake right? We can’t, this isn’t real?” Tony hopes, hoping that Happy will confirm for him that Peter is okay. Because the image in front of him, of Peter screaming out in pain - crying for Tony to save him - can’t be real. 

“We don’t know, we think so. Where’s Peter supposed to be right now?” Steve asks.

Tony turns to Pepper, her head nodding as she glances at the StarkPad again. 

“He’s—he’s supposed to be on a plane. I got Happy and Pepper both checking but Steve, I gotta tell you this shit looks real as anything I’ve ever seen. I think Beck might’ve hijacked the plane. Or maybe took control of it before it even left. I don’t know.” 

“Tony listen, we don’t know—“

Steve’s words fade as Tony’s attention is brought back to the television, seeing Beck’s face transform into a smile that sends chills down his spine as he brings a hand to his ear, as if he was listening to something on the other end.

Tony hears Steve go silent on the other end, a sharp gasp from Pepper to his side that doesn’t register with him, willing himself to listen even as the panic threatens to overtake him.

“Looks like the show’s over folks.”

His jaw twists a little, Tony recognizing a beat too late what it is - Tony sees the foam forming in his mouth and his eyes going back into his head, Beck ending his life for all of them to see. 

It’s then that the image of Peter screaming out in pain, of someone using a long knife cut into him - disappears, as if a nightmare specifically created for Tony. 

Tony lets out a sharp gasp, shaking his head. 

“I don’t, I don’t understand—“

“Tony, I need you to listen to me.” Steve interjects but Tony just turns to Pepper, stomach dropping as he sees the look on her Pepper’s face. 

“Pep.”

“Tony, I—“

Tony shakes his head, knowing that he can’t-- he refuses to hear the impossible. 

“Tony, it’s his plane.” Pepper says, Tony shaking his head more.

“Where is it? What did Beck do, is it--”

“Tony.”

“What?”

“It’s gone.”

* * *

Tony doesn’t wait to hear anything more from Steve, doesn’t wait to hear anything from Pepper - grabbing the nanotech suit from the garage and letting it materialize over him before blasting off into the sky even as FRIDAY shows him footage that Tony knows will give him nightmares for years. 

The video of the private plane - the plane Peter was on - bursting into flames, careening out of the sky, runs on a loop in his mind as Tony flies through the air, willing himself to go faster to where FRIDAY estimated the plane had fallen. Cursing himself and Beck for the time they had wasted with the video of Peter - _it’s not Peter, it wasn’t Peter_ \- being tortured when the kid had really been falling to his death. 

“You have an incoming call from Pepper, boss.”

“Answer it.”

“Tony, what are you doing, you can’t--”

“I have to find him, Pep. I have to, I have to be--”

“ _ Tony _ . What if--”

“He’s fine, Pep. He’s fine. Kid survived a building being dropped on him, he can survive this.” Tony says the words but the panic in his voice is undeniable, a growing sense of dread that this is something that even Peter couldn’t come back from. 

He’d just seen Peter being tortured, crying out for him - but it was a fake. Tony knows on a rational level that the video could be doctored too.

But there’s something in his gut that tells him that it isn’t - and that if he sits around and argues about it, he’ll be too late. 

“Tony--”

“I’ll call you back, Pep. I have to, I have to get there.” He hangs up, yelling for FRIDAY to fly him there faster. 

As the wind rushes past him, Tony’s panic is only overshadowed by the guilt and the fear of what he was going to encounter. 

The last thing he’d ever said to Peter was unforgivable, words that Tony instantly regretted. 

And now, Tony panics at the idea that they’re the last thing he ever said to him. That the last words they’d ever said to each other had been in anger. That Peter never wanted to see him again - something that Tony now fears might just come true. 

_ Don’t think that. He’s fine. He’s fine, the kid’s fine. _

Tony hears the incoming call from Steve, thinking to ignore it before FRIDAY pushes it through - though why, Tony doesn’t know. 

“Tony, what are you doing?”

“What do you think, Steve? I need to see if the kid’s okay, if Pete’s--”

“Tony, you saw what he did. You saw the video. Nat and Clint are at the warehouse and Peter isn’t there. He’s tricking you Tony, making you believe this is real.” 

Tony doesn’t adjust the flight pattern in the slightest, the smallest feeling of hope at Steve’s words even as he flies towards where Peter’s plane was supposed to be.

“What the hell does that mean to me, Steve?”

“You could be flying into a trap. Peter could be fine.” 

Tony hears the warning but his sole focus is on the hope at the last sentence, igniting a spark in him. Maybe it wasn’t too late, maybe he hadn’t fucked up beyond all reason - Peter was fine, he was okay - it was all a trick.

But then Pepper had said the plane was gone, the video of it being blasted out of the sky coming back to his mind.

Before Tony can say anything else he sees it - smoke coming into the distance, the hope extinguished just as quickly as he’d felt it.

“Steve, I see it.”

“You see what?”

The closer he gets, the more the panic starts to surround him - realizing that he was a fool to have thought that he could’ve had anything good in his life, anything perfect and unblemished without ruining it forever. 

Because there - in front of him, is the truth that no matter what Steve said - Tony can feel in the depths of his soul.

Peter’s plane, burnt down nearly to ash - blasted out of the sky and sending Tony’s hopes and dreams with it. 

The wreckage from Peter’s plane grows closer and closer, the fire and smoke burning brighter as he flies toward it and lands. 

Steve’s still talking in the background, Tony not even thinking to hang up because now his sole focus - his only focus - is Peter. 

“Kid? Peter? FRIDAY, scan the area.” 

“Tony, be careful—“ Tony ends the call.

“FRIDAY talk to me, is this real?”

He waits the few agonizingly long seconds it takes for her to answer, letting out a sharp exhale from her reply.

“There do not appear to be any illusions active, boss. There are two passengers from the plane to your left, though there appear to be no signs of life.” Tony swallows, hoping and hating himself that it was the pilot and the flight attendant and not--not--

“There’s another to your right, boss. Heartbeat is slowed.”

Tony turns without thinking, rushing forward. 

“Where is it, Fri? Where’s--”

But then he sees it, sees him - and stops, feeling like the wind’s taken out of him once more.

Peter’s alive, gasping but even the sight of him alive does anything to quell the panic that Tony feels. The idea that this is an illusion occurs to Tony, the small glimmer of hope that this isn’t real - even if FRIDAY had told him it was. 

Because if it isn’t, if this isn’t a fake - the truth is horrifying. Worse than what he’d just seen on the live feed.

Peter’s alive, but barely - a twisted piece of metal that Tony’s frantic mind can only register as being part of the broken plane wreckage - jutting out from under him, blood staining the ground around him and leaking from the entry point out of his gut anytime Peter takes a breath. 

Peter’s eyes are half-open, wheezing - looking up into the sky as if he was seconds away from going somewhere Tony wouldn’t be able to follow. 

Tony rushes to him, the suit dematerializing as he brings a hand to his face.

He knows that it’s not an illusion, knows that FRIDAY would tell him the truth - but until this moment, he’d hoped that it was - hoped that he was just walking into another trap and that the minute he’d touch Peter, it would all disappear. 

When it doesn’t, when Tony’s hands reach Peter’s - his skin, cold and clammy - Tony thinks he could vomit. 

Tony can’t bring himself to consider why the hell Beck had done this, what his purpose had been - what reason beyond giving Tony hell. 

This is real. Peter was hurt.

And it was all his fault. 

“Kid? Kid, you still with me?” 

Peter wheezes again, a gurgling sound coming from the back of his throat that makes Tony’s hand shake. 

“Hey, hey don’t talk okay? I’m here, we’re gonna fix this. We’re gonna--you’re alright.”

Peter’s eyes looking towards Tony, dazed and out of unfocused. 

He regrets it - everything, the weeks and months that led to this horrifying moment - but Tony can’t bring himself to say any of that, too panic-stricken that Peter was struggling to breathe in front of him, that Peter was only put in this position because of him to begin with. 

_ I’ll destroy his legacy. _

Beck’s words ring in his ears as Peter coughs, blood coming out of his mouth as Tony immediately goes to wipe it with his thumb. 

“Kid, look at me. Look at me, don’t worry alright? You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be okay, help’s on it’s way. Fri?”

“I’ve already alerted Steve and medical services, boss.” Tony nods, pressing his hand firmly on Peter’s cheek as to ground himself - ground Peter into the moment - a silent plea for Peter to stay with him. 

To stay awake. 

To stay  _ alive. _

“You hear that, Pete? Help’s on the way. Just hold on a little bit longer alright? Stay awake, kid. Come on, eyes on me.”

Peter chokes in return, a rattling noise from his throat that just sets Tony further on edge. Peter’s eyes widen - filled with terror and pain and hurt - and Tony knows, in the way that he can’t even begin to try and explain, a father’s intuition - what Peter’s saying to him without speaking a word.

_ I’m sorry. _

It’s painful, agonizing - words Tony never wants to hear come from Peter’s mouth again, a pain so deep that Tony’s sure that the nightmares of Titan will never go away - even if he knows Peter hasn’t said anything since he’s arrived, the sheer terror that Peter might not ever speak again.

“Nothing to be sorry for kid, you’re alright. Just, just try and stay awake okay?” Tony’s voice breaks with that last word, FRIDAY’s voice ringing out.

“Peter has suffered severe blood loss. You must keep him awake, boss.”

“I know that, Fri. Tell medical to hurry the hell up.” Tony snaps, never taking his eyes off Peter as he begins to shake, gasping like he was drowning on dry ground.

“Peter?”

The world comes to a halt, the edges of everything around him blurry as his focus is zeroed in on Peter, his haggard breathing and the terrified look in his eyes.

A million things pass between them, Peter’s mouth opening slightly as the gurgle in the back of his throat gets louder.

And then he stops - sharp, sudden, Tony watching in horror as he sees the light in Peter’s eyes fade, the gut-wrenching realization after a few seconds that Peter doesn’t see him anymore. 

Tony can’t breathe, the panic so tight and heavy on his chest that he feels like he’s going to explode.

“Kid? Peter? Come on, Pete. Don’t do this, don’t do this, come on.”

But Tony’s cries go unanswered, a horrifying thought coming to mind.

When Peter had died the first time, he’d crumbled away in Tony’s arms - nothing to show for it except for the scars on his irreparably damaged heart.

Peter dying a second time, struggling and in pain - Tony wondered if the first time may have been a mercy.

Peter dying with the universe meant he’d disappeared without a trace.

Peter dying in his arms now - broken, bleeding, terrified - was a physical reminder that Tony could never have anything in his life for long without destroying it.

If this was Beck’s doing - his whole purpose being in destroying Tony - than he’d succeeded. 

Tony knew that the image of Peter’s lifeless body in front of him, seeing the love and the light fade from his eyes was something he would never be able to recover from. 

* * *

He’s not sure how long it takes for Steve or anyone else to arrive, if it took any time at all - only knowing it took too damn long to matter. 

Peter was dead. 

And it was all his fault. 

Tony registers that he’s being moved, coming to life with a vengeance when someone tries to move Peter away from him.

There’s scuffling, struggle until he feels a sharp pin his arm, his last thoughts going to Peter and the unfathomable pain he’d have to reckon with when he wakes.

Just before he drifts off into unconsciousness, Tony considers that maybe - despite everything and everyone else he had to live for - that he wouldn’t want to wake up in a world that Peter wasn’t in. 

He loved Peter, loved him more than he could express.

But he’d never told him.

Instead he’s told him something unforgivable, pushed him away without meaning to. 

Now Peter was dead. 

And there was nothing Tony could do to save him.

* * *

Tony comes to with a start, immediately feeling Pepper’s hand on his. 

“Tony?”

“Pepper, what--” The panic that had gripped him when he was last awake is back in full-force, Pepper’s soft hand trying to calm him down.

“Tony, calm down.”

“Pepper, it’s Pete. He, oh God, he--”

“He’s okay.”

Tony blinks, his mind short-circuiting.

“That’s--how, I saw--saw him---”

“Cho was able to restart his heart. It… it was touch and go for awhile but,” Pepper brings her face closer to his, bringing her other hand to his face.

“ _ He’s okay. _ ” 

Tony lets out a sigh in relief, the undercurrent of panic still running through him even as Pepper brings him into a hug. 

He trusts Pepper with his life, knows that she - who understood him better than anyone - wouldn’t lie to him about something like this. 

But Tony wanted --  _ needed _ \-- to see it for himself. 

* * *

Tony gets to Peter’s room as soon as he’s allowed, Cho warning him that Peter was still recovering. 

“He’s been drifting in and out, Tony and to be honest, I prefer it that he keeps sleeping. His body needs time to heal and with as much sedatives as we’re giving him, it’s a wonder that he’s awake at all.”

“Has anyone called--”

“May’s still on her way.” Pepper offers, Cho nodding. 

“You’ll be the first in to see him though I have to tell you again Tony that--”

“I get it, Cho. I get it.” He stops, knowing Cho is only doing her best. “Thank you.”

Cho only nods, opening the door for him before he steps in - Pepper staying behind.

“I’ll be here waiting for May.” 

The door closes behind him and for the first time since he’d first seen the footage, that first image of Peter crying out in pain - Tony feels himself relax. 

Peter’s asleep - or unconscious, Tony doesn’t know - but he’s  _ alive _ , the steady beeping and rhythm of the heart monitor confirming it for him. 

He walks up to Peter’s bedside, bringing a chair closer until he settles into it, Tony sighing as he sits down. 

A thousand things run through Tony’s mind, none of them fully capable of expressing the intense guilt and relief simultaneously coursing through his body. 

Guilt that he’d let him and Peter get to this point. 

Guilt that Peter had been put in danger - not for anything he’d done, but because of Tony.

Guilt that Peter died - again, Tony being powerless to stop it.

And yet relief - utter and complete relief - that despite everything, despite how impossible and improbable and miraculous it was - that Peter was alive. 

“God, kid. I’m sorry.” Tony whispers, taking in Peter’s appearance.

Tony hadn’t noticed the bruising on his face and his arms before, too focused and panicked on the hunk of metal jutting out from under him. The kid’s whole torso is wrapped up in bandages, something Tony knows would be unnecessary in a few days - another wave of realization that Peter was stronger than he gave him credit for. 

Without Peter being awake to say it, it’s as if Tony suddenly understands. 

Peter was capable, strong - a fighter in every sense of the word. He knew what he could handle, knew his own powers better than Tony could even begin to comprehend.

What Tony had imagined as care, Peter must have thought as a lack of trust. 

Tony’s shoulders sag, sighing as brought his hands to his face. 

Peter suddenly stirs, Tony’s head immediately snapping upwards.

Tony waits, watching as Peter shifts - groaning in pain.

“Hey, hey, kid don’t move alright? You took a nasty hit.”

Peter just groans again in response, wincing as his eyes flutter before slowly opening. 

“You with me, Pete?”

Peter swallows, blinking as he looks up - around - until his gaze finally rests on Tony. 

Tony lets out a sigh of relief, Peter’s eyes filled with a life that Tony had feared he’d never see again. 

“Hey evel knievel, let’s leave the crazy plane tricks for someone else alright?”

Peter just blinks in return, the corner of his lips raising slightly.

“Don’t talk, kid. It’s okay.” 

Peter blinks again, each time slower and slower until Peter’s asleep once more. 

Tony doesn’t care. 

Peter is alive. And just as he watched Morgan sleep for months when she was born, Tony knew he’d spent a lifetime watching out for Peter - making sure he was okay. 

* * *

Tony relinquishes his position by Peter when May arrives, hovering close enough to keep tabs on him while giving May space to be with her nephew. 

A few days later, when Peter was awake - coherent and awake enough to get the riot act from both May and his scary girlfriend about scaring them - Tony finds himself in his room again, wringing his hands as he and Peter sit in silence. 

It had been at Pepper’s insistence that they were together now, Tony content to just silently watch him as he slept - even if the kid’s girlfriend had mentioned how slightly creepy that was. 

But now Peter was awake - doing okay with Tony sitting beside him - and it was as if the last few months of tension made themselves known once more. 

“I’m--”

“Kid, I--”

They both start at the same time, Peter looking down sheepishly. 

“Sorry.”

“No, kid. You don’t--” Tony sighs, chasing away the memories of Peter’s sorry’s that had destroyed him. “I’m the one who should apologize.”

“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean to…”

“No Pete, you did.” Peter winces as Tony continues. “You did and I deserved it. I never should’ve brought up your uncle.”

Peter fiddles with the edge of his blanket, looking down for a few moments before bringing his eyes back to Tony. 

“I’m still sorry, Mr. Stark.”

Tony lets out a sharp laugh. “Not as sorry as I am, kid. If I would’ve lost you....” Tony doesn’t finish, Peter still not meeting his eyes. 

They’re silent for a moment before Tony speaks.

“And I’m sorry I let you think that I didn’t trust you. You’re the best out of all of us, kid. I know that, the team knows it. I just want to keep you safe.”

Peter nods. “I know, I know. That’s… that’s not it, not completely.” 

Peter bites his lip, taking a deep breath. “It’s… I mean, you died, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony looks back at Peter, confusion all over his face as Peter continues. 

“I saw it, I  _ heard _ it, when your heart stopped. You died after you snapped and then… then when you didn’t, you recovered it was like, I don’t know. Like the universe gave us a second chance.” 

Tony watches as tears start to form in Peter’s eyes, Peter trying to hold them back. 

“You’re supposed to be retired. To be… home. Safe. Away from everything. Having you watch me, it’s like… I know that if something happened, that if you saw me get hurt, you’d fly out and--”

“Every time. I’d be there in seconds, Pete.”

“But that’s just it.” Peter’s voice is sharp, enough for Tony to pause. 

Peter takes a moment to compose himself before continuing. “I’m… I’m not saying I’m not thankful, Mr. Stark. I am, but…” Peter doesn’t even try to hold back the tears now, Tony’s heart breaking as he watched one escape from his eyes. 

“I can’t lose you again, Mr. Stark. I thought, I saw you die and if I knew that you did something because of me then--”

“Pete, listen to me.” 

“No, Mr. Stark, I--”

“The adult is talking.” 

Peter stops, a look on his face that makes Tony think that his joke went a little too far - a reminder of that ill-fated trip to space - until Peter’s face broke out into a grin, letting out a small laugh. 

“You know you’ll only be able to use that excuse for another year.”

Tony laughs in return, leaning forward. “I’ll always be older than you, Pete so I think I get to use it for the rest of my life.”

Peter sobers up at that, Tony pressing forward.

“And it’s a life that I plan to live for as long as obnoxiously as possible. But Pete, I need you to understand this.” Tony extends a hand out, the easy affection that they’d had in the first few months before the world was made right again having been lost in their months of fighting. 

But Peter takes it, affirming for Tony that they were on their way to making things right between them once again. 

“There will never be a time, never a world, never a reality, that I wouldn’t do  _ anything _ for you.” 

Peter goes to say something but Tony shakes his head. “I’m not saying that you’re wrong. Pepper’s on my ass about leaving you alone too and believe me kid, that’s a fight I know I’ll lose.”

Peter laughs again, tears coming down his face as Tony feels his own vision getting blurry. 

“But listen kid, you-- losing you was the worst thing I think I’ve ever done.”

Peter says nothing, waiting. 

“And if I lost you again, well…” Tony trails off, his mind going back to the memory of Peter on titan, the recent horror of Peter’s eyes dimming right before his before Peter brings him back - soft pressure in his hand. 

“I love you, kid. You have to know that.”

Peter nods. “I do. Love you too, Mr. Stark. And…” Peter takes a deep breath, exhaling some of the tension in his shoulders. “You won’t lose me.”

“And you won’t lose  _ me _ , Pete.”

They stare at each other, knowing this was a promise that neither of them could truly make - a sinking feeling in Tony’s stomach that this was almost a dare to the universe. 

Knowing that even if he was retired, that Peter was just getting started - a whole world and life full of threats that even Tony wouldn’t be able to save him from. 

But Tony pushes that thought away, grounding himself with the kid’s hand in his before letting go, leaning forward and bringing him into a tight hug - one that Peter returns freely. 

Tony knew this wasn’t the end of the things he and Peter would have to discuss, knew that there were countless ways they would have to try and negotiate the new world they found themselves in. 

But as Peter’s head burrowed into his chest, Tony holding him tightly - all Tony could think of was that of all the problems they could have, that figuring out how to move forward was the best one - one that really wasn’t a problem at all.

Figuring out the future meant that they had one - that Peter would have the chance to grow up, grow into himself and continue to become the person Tony knew he was destined to be. 

Tony had lived five years without Peter. He’d messed up in the past few months, over and over again. 

He loved him like a son. 

Tony knew that they could figure it out, whatever the next step was - whatever the path.

They always would. 

Tony had made a lot of mistakes in his life. 

But he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. 


End file.
